-- Edit -- In hindsight perhaps the title should read "Why I can't teach my children ASL" instead of "won't" ---
Recently I found myself engaged in a tepid discussion with my girlfriend on how we would raise our children to communicate with us, whether they are deaf or hearing. We both agreed on one point. We would teach them how to cue so we would be able to communicate if neither of us had our CIs on or we found ourselves in noisy environments. After all we are both native deaf cuers.
T he sticky point that we came across was the issue of whether we’d teach our kids sign language. At this point I hadn’t differentiated between ASL and the manually coded English systems such as SEE 1 and SEE 2 since she argued that the majority of the people she came across did not use a pure form of ASL , but more of a mixed use of both. As an alumnus of RIT, she has the experience that I don’t in knowing sign language. Yet she confesses that she’s not fluent in ASL so much as she is in Signed Exact English. Because all her friends did not use ASL fluently (even though they may have believed they did) she ended up learning more of a pidgin form of sign language.
At this point I told my girlfriend I wouldn’t teach our kids how to communicate in American Sign Language or any of the MCE systems. Why not? Well frankly I am not the right person to teach them anyways. Neither is she. However I have no problems with them takingASL classes as they get older. I want to give them that choice with the understanding that they will be exposed to other people who do communicate through sign language and it will be advantageous for them if they are fluent in both Cued Speech and ASL .
If they end up being exposed toASL through peers, that’s even better. At least they have that experience and can draw from it. Sure I’ll teach them the basics such as the ABC ’s and certain words like “no,” “yes,” and colors. I don’t think I’ll be teaching them how to sign “sh*t” or “f*ck.” I learned that from hearing kids anyways, so the longer they don’t know it, the better.
However I will not be able to give them that full experience that would be required for a child to be fluent inASL . I am not a true ASL model. Instead I am a Cued Speech model. Because I am fluent in Cued Speech, my children will be exposed to a cued/spoken language environment in which they can absorb language both auditorally and visually. Actually let me go back to that statement I made about teaching our children to cue. We won’t teach them so much as they will absorb our cueing. Just as hearing children learn how to speak from their parents, our children will learn how to cue from us.
Recently I found myself engaged in a tepid discussion with my girlfriend on how we would raise our children to communicate with us, whether they are deaf or hearing. We both agreed on one point. We would teach them how to cue so we would be able to communicate if neither of us had our CIs on or we found ourselves in noisy environments. After all we are both native deaf cuers.
At this point I told my girlfriend I wouldn’t teach our kids how to communicate in American Sign Language or any of the MCE systems. Why not? Well frankly I am not the right person to teach them anyways. Neither is she. However I have no problems with them taking
If they end up being exposed to
However I will not be able to give them that full experience that would be required for a child to be fluent in
I have no issues with those parents who are fluent in
19 comments:
That won't change the fact I, along with so many, encountered many cued speech users harboring phony and often backstabbing aura of supremacy over people who don't use cued speech.
I tire of seeing these sneering faces. Try getting fifty pre-K toddlers kids from each of the worst housing projects of all five largest U.S. cities and see if at least 90% can read an write on grade level exclusively using cued speech in addition to read and written English. No cheating please. I have seen enough nonsense so fabricated statistics because every of hundreds of cued speech users notably that from Montgomery County, Maryland, are from at least upper middle class backgrounds. Many users had the audacity to compare oranges and apples to point where implied supremacy reigns.
I'm Deaf but mainstream in attitude. I'm the furthest from a militant Deaf person. I'm all for choice as long as choices made, such as yours, aren't flaunted with stinking air of supremacy.
Best of luck.
What you've decided for your family sounds perfectly reasonable and logical to me! Good luck! :-)
Well, then if your children are hearing, they will have a harder time communicating with other deaf parents which is rather unfortunate, like if they were to go over to their friend's sleepover, they couldn't communicate with the deaf parents because they didn't know ASL. I've encountered some koda children who couldn't understand ASL, it is frustrating and leads to communication breakdown. So there are other factors to think about and many times, koda children when they get older especially in high school, wish that they were fluent in sign language and if there is an ASL course in high school, they immediately sign up for it but they get upset with their deaf parents that they weren't taught earlier. You will be surprised at how many of these koda children really want to learn ASL and that they wish that they were native learners. Many times, interpreters and hearing students envy CODAs because they are native signers and are fluent in ASL. So it is something for you to ponder.
Cued Speech is not a language.
On ya Carl! I agree. Cued Speech is not a language!
Hm. I believe it is every parents' responsibility, whether hearing or deaf, to educate and expose the deaf child to American Sign Language. Why? That's the official language of the American Deaf in here, the USA.
I respect your choice to teach them cued speech and I've no qualms about that. Same concept with a Chinese parent choosing to teach their child Chinese first and then English since USA is an English country. That would mean you'll have to teach them English, ASL, and Cued-speech. Although, I am not certain if Cued-speech is an actual full-formed language. I doubt it. Still respecting your choice, though.
Anyway, I just hope that you will join in their quest to learn ASL because it's more encouraging when a parent is involved. Why not take ASL classes with them when they are little? Why wait until they get older? You're deaf and they're deaf, no difference. Learn American Sign Language. There's no shame in it. It's USA's official sign language of the Deaf.
Cool, cool? Good luck! :-)
Anon --
Negative vibes coming from you. I only wonder who were those people that gave you that impression.
Michele --
The problem here is we're not fluent in ASL. I can't teach them myself. If they were to learn from someone else, that's different and fine by me. I just want to make sure they know the difference between MCE systems and ASL, as we have a number of friends who primarily use SEE or a pidgin form of signing.
Carl --
You are right! Cued Speech is not a language! Instead it is a visual communication system that conveys spoken language on the phonemic level, transliterating the spoken form of whatever language into visual form. Hence the term cued languages. Dr. Metzger and Mr. Fleetwood published a book about it and wrote an article for Language Matters Inc. (http://www.language-matters.com/difference.php3)
Jon --
I've already began learning ASL since early last year. I've even traveled to Gallaudet and made new friends who've helped me along with my signing.
I just am not fluent enough to be an ASL model. Would that be fair to my kids? Another issue is that I would primarily be cueing to my kids instead of signing.
II don't see shame in learning ASL. I just see an issue in teaching ASL when one is not fluent at all. The same goes for any other language.
I admit to being ignorant about cued speech, so it is not my place to comment on it. But I'd like to let you know... like you, I learned the "pigit" form of sign language (so-called Total Communication or SimCom) in late 1980's at NTID. When my husband and I became parents of deaf children, we immediately exposed them to Rochester's deaf culture (back in then, ASL was not fully encultured in the Rochester School for the Deaf's community and our first child was born hearing so we treated him like CODA until we learned he had some mild to moderate hearing loss at the age of 3... but he was already talking,listening, singing songs, etc. like any normal hearing toddlers... but our daughter, we exposed her to sign language right away from the birth, suspecting that she might share the progressive hearing loss gene... we were right.) We also requested that our children who had (and still have) a lot of residential hearing to speech therapy which they both enjoyed a lot at RSD.
When we moved to Indianapolis, we enrolled our children at ISD, a well-known Bi-Bi deaf school. Now, ASL was not often used at RSD, so it was a kind of culture shock to my children. My son who is more of an auditory learner, opted out of ISD into mainstreaming where he did (and still does) thrive and my daughter quickly picked up ASL and is fluent in ASL, as well as has an excellent grasp of English, thanks to RSD's help in building foundation for her.
What is important is the parental invovlement. You and your child/children's mother will be the child/children's best advocates and you know what is best for your child/children. You can listen to various perspectives/opinions, but at the end it will be you and your child/children's mother's final decision which will be informed. From reading your article, I know you will make the best, informed decision. Remember we will not know if the decisions are good or bad until time and the results of the decisions tell so.
Do we regret any of decisions regarding our children's academic placements? No, we just develop rapport with the teachers and work closely with them to ensure the academic success. Remember there will be some bad teachers, some OK teachers, and some WOW teachers. If the teachers are comfortable with the communication with parents, then the children are in good hands. If not, then it would be a problem, as we quickly learned with one teacher (we have had bad experiences with only one teacher so far... the rest of teachers had and have been wonderful, at RSD and ISD and our son's mainstream school.)
I dont care what you teach your kids or how; as long as you're teaching them a langauge.
I think you're being too anal or serious about which is which, and which sign fits in which type of communication mode.
all that matters is simply that you can communicate with your kids and your kids can communicate too. be it a mixed form of any of those myriad "languages" and "codes". Who the hell cares if the sign for 'dog' is different in cued speach, asl, see1, (and my god, there is such a thing?) see2, klington, css, english, mongrel, mongolian, or whatever the fuck floats your boat as long as they can convey the synapic thoughts in their heads and influence it onto another being?
With one's children, no matter if Deaf or hearing, the main language is still one of love. Whatever works to express that love and guidance, is the one to use.
Encourage them, however, to learn ASL and don't be afraid to use the little that you know when you feel it necessary.
Modeling in English can be done at different times and the difference between the two languages and your competency vs. others' can be explained to children. They catch on quickly.
Don't be too strict, though. The nature of language is not like that.
"Language"
I took ASL classes at my first college and I was the only deaf student in the class. I remember all the struggles we, as students, had which were similar struggles I experienced when learning German in High School. When I look back, it was very interesting how the course was taught. The professor presented her lessons in a pidgin form of signing, not pure ASL even though the course names were American Sign Language I, II, and III.
What strikes as interesting to me is the majority of deaf/hoh people I have met in the last 10 years say they use ASL as their primary language when they don't sign pure ASL. Most people I have come across use a mixture of SEE and ASL which according to them, they define as PSE.
Just last night, I brought it to Aaron's attention that I just noticed most of my sign language interpreters and professors who signed for themselves used very little ASL but more SEE. I know I would have not done well in my studies if they were pure ASL because of my poor receptive skills.
As Aaron mentioned, I am not an expert in ASL and would rather have my children learn the language from a professional in which I will play a role in picking out. I continue to learn ASL through vlogs, but it is apparent I do not yet carry satisfactory receptive and expressive skills yet. I don't have any exposure to a pure form of ASL through my deaf/hoh peers.
As a native deaf cuer, you can only imagine how many times I come across the comment "Cued Speech is not a language". I never deny that. It becomes frustrating or annoying at times depending on who you hear the comment from or how how the comment is presented because if that person is not a pure ASL user, they are most likely using SEE or a pidgin form of sign which are NOT considered true languages either.
So hearing comments from people who use a visual communication rather than a language on a daily basis reminding me Cued Speech is not a language becomes tiring after a while.
I agree with many commenters here especially dianerez, Karen and dog food. ASL being my first language, I evenutally picked up speech, English and Pidgen. To this day, I mix it up often. My number one critic is my little niece. :) Doesn't matter as long as there's language and love~
I love this post, not because you're rejecting ASL, but because you're respecting it as a whole language of its own with its own community and culture.
You're also giving validity to cueing as something that's valid, especially for you as a future deaf cueing parent (and for other deaf cuers as well).
You go.
Not like you, children's brains are so plastic that they can absorb multi-languages. They would
be eternally grateful to their parents for encouraging them to be immersed in multi-languages (see Psychologist Dr. Gardner's books on multi-intelligences through multi-languages).
Therefore, you shall immerse your children in ASL, English, Latin, French, Spanish. Provide them with classical education.
ASL IS BEAUIFUL SIGN AND I CAN SPEAK WELL SOMETIMES THEY UNDERSTAND ME SPEAK GOOD SOMETIME THEY DONT UNDERSTAND ME SPEAK THAT WHY I FIGURE OUT OH I GOT IT 2 DIFFERENT WAY LISTEN OR NOT LISTEN UMM NOW I UNDERSTAND. SOMETIME I LIKE BE TEACHER TO TEACH HEARING SIGN LANGAUGE AND THEY WILLING TO LEARN SHARE. I REMEMBER I TOLD THEM NO PAY FREE CHARGE IF I TEACH YOU SIGN LANGAUGE AND YOU TEACH ME SPEAK HEARING LANGAUGE IS THAT DEAL ? AGREE AND THEY SAID ASL IS SO BEAUIFUL I CAN REACH AIR WITH HANDS LIKE BREATH AND MORE VIEW WHAT EMOTION FEEL LIKE SO BEAUIFUL BUT I LOST MY GOOD GIRLS DUE NAVY MOVED BUT BEST REMEMBER MYSELF. BUT I LIKE USE ASL ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I LIKE WORK OUT MY HANDS LIKE 24 HRS. SAME AS SOME OF HEARNG LIKE SPEAK 24 HRS WHOA TALK LOTS. I SAID WHY YOU TALK TOO MUCH HEARING GIRL SAID I LIKE KEEP MY GOOD EDUCATION RUNNING TO KNOWLEGDE MORE LANGAUGE. I SAID AWSOME WHAT ABOUT ASL 24 HRS DO LOTS OF TIMES. IT HELPFUL GOOD FRESH EARLIER MORNING MORE EDUCATION. MY DAD WENT TO HEARING IMPAIRED NIGHT TAKE CLASS CAUSE I AM DEAF CHILD COMMUCATION WITH ME. I SAID DAD I LOVE YOU COMMUCATION BETTER WITH ME AND MY DAD SAID ASL IS SO BEAUIFUL EASY COMMUCATION BETTER AND BETTER. I TOLD MY DAD I CAN TALK SOMETIME I LAZY BUT MY DAD SAID SOMETIME I LAZY TALK BECAUSE MY JAWS GOT SORE AND SIGN LANGAUGE ASL NO PLM NO SORE HANDS.
I love what Karen Mayes had to share here.
I've tried to pick up cueing here and there and I find myself messing it up. I can't seem to get my brain to think phonetically. :)
I use a lot of sim-com with my kids and for a while there, I had people telling me I should be using ASL at home. I just wasn't at the point where I wanted to turn my voice off all the time when communicating with my kids, so sim-com became the way we communicate. My oldest is picking up more and more ASL at school and they all three attend camps where they have made friends who use ASL.
I've tried to get my kids to be open to all methods and modes of communication as they'll have a rich opportunity to meet a variety of people in their lives and be able to communicate.
Aaron,
I've got to say that when I read the title, I thought, "Hoo boy. This guy has no idea what he's brought upon himself. He's really asking for it." But I was in for a pleasant surprise - your entry showed so much respect for ASL. I was touched by your concern that you're a poor language model (for ASL) and you don't want that to be an issue. Thank you! You've definitely thought this through carefully.
I'd like to encourage you to go ahead and use what ASL you know with your children, as others have said. They've provided reasons, other than the usual "But you're deaf! You should know ASL!" arguments, so I won't repeat them. Another reason is that studies show that bilingual children have higher IQs as adults, and apparently when the languages are in more than one mode (signed as well as spoken/written), the IQ gain is even greater. Their understanding of language will transcend mere words in a way that I cannot explain well.
So while your respect for ASL shines through and you have valid concerns about being an appropriate ASL language model, I hope you will enjoy using, and perhaps learning/strengthening your ASL with your children at times. :)
me know english but comment written asl form
decision your good
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